Open Letter to Tim Merriman and /or Social Worker - Terrell Hospital - Texas - HHS

Dear current social worker for Tim Merriman at Terrell Hospital,

I am Tim Merriman's sister. I have been strongly advised since 2006 to stay out of Tim's guardianship arrangement and have respected that. My sister had approached my brother in roughly 2007, and while we were able to have a meaningful conversation with Tim (he came to my wedding and had a very good time!), my sister, unfortunately had told him he does not require medication and that my father and I were mistreating him by suggesting he needed medication.

This wove mistrust for him at a time when the trust was very delicate. There are so many things I would have done differently if I was in communication with my father, yet I was not because after my mother passed away there was a tension between my job and his activism at the same time.

Having said, that I worry for Tim. I am extremely aware he was "tricked" to be declared incapacited (long story - absolute fact).

Knowing Tim was tricked, and has not had legal representation advocating for him, I am wondering:

-  does he know he has been tricked? 
-  how is he psychologically faring with that?
-  does he believe he was falsely accused?

That weight of that on his mental condition is not comfortable for me. In addition to this, I would like to know if he has ever had any therapy at all regarding his conflict with me from 1996? That would have been appreciated rather than the courts simply taking a very historical event (we became friends after 1996) compounding another in order to trick him into long term care arrangements.

He never had the therapy he needed from the event all the way back to 1996. Nor did I. I had long forgiven him and his record should have been expunged instead of passing him through housing where the history of violence would prohibit his options to try. I did not have any confidant's who understood the system, his situations, and who would work through the mental gymnastics for what was the best long term care for Tim. Everything has been reactive and governed by my fathers with STRICT demands to not "meddle" in his guardianship or care because he could lose it and he did so much work to make the arrangements. I was compliant. My sister was not and she has a different set of issues.

There is a lot more to this; however, his records should been expunged if he was going to be moved out of his somewhat stable apartment situation into more unstructured conditions. 

Everyone knows if you remove the structure it is only going to be problems for anyone with high levels of trauma and neurological condition.

He also should have been in therapy.

It is bothering me that some person has decided in all of this to make up a violent condition, for a fast path (better path?) to move him from the situation he was in at his assisted living. He was run over? I can't find any police report. My husband and I know (now) he was used as a pawn at least twice and shuffled in front of our appointments. I had co-workers moving onto the NAMI board or helping improve the criminal justice system for mental health care. Sadly everywhere I went my job had political tentacles that brushed very closely to disrupting the arrangements my father was trying to make for Tim.

My brother cannot be financially incentivized. This was a MAJOR conflict between my father and I that led to estrangement in 2007. He came to my home, said Tim was wandering, as he did especially when Julia told him we were poisoning him with medication, then said he told Tim he was taking Tim "out of his will".

I asked my father, what does that mean? He is a person who is not motivated to be in your will. He wants dignity, independence, and when very unwell goes heavy into researching things. (I have actually learned a little more now, in an unfortunate way, there was probably someone sending him to research things as jokes or as an errand boy). Things my father did not understand when I read his historical writings for "getting Tim back into compliance".
 
After consulting with a friend who has managed to keep his brother in assisted living for a very long time, I had recommended my father a person named Dan Deshazo (friend of that friend) to help mediate when Tim was angry. Tim's anger with us once Julia informed him he did not need treatment, was severe. Not much came out of that, due to the passing of my mother and loss of communication with my father as we disagreed on the next steps on BOTH Julia and Tim's care.

I would very much like Tim to know that I love him. I would very much like for him to not have a "criminal" record that looks intentionally designed to work the system. I want to know he is ok. I want him to know we were both challenged with so much grief, trauma, and guilt. He particularly carried it for all of us.  I know he has a neurological situation yet that trauma needs to be addressed so he can have hugs and love at Christmas and visits.

I cannot take guardianship, I do not have the money for hopes and dreams that I had for him. After visiting some farms for mental health I thought may be great for him, I realized we needed to have his records expunged to get him in. And I needed a million dollars. Money I was very actively working on when diverted in 2000. For some reason lying to my father saying I was not working (in tandem). Very long story and too digressing from the issues. Tim needs the best treatment possible for his trauma, resolution, forgiving himself and loving others if possible. Has his father abandoned him? When was the last time he saw Tim physically? 

I can read in notes from my father in 2010, Tim probably was not invited to Christmas (maybe he was) yet it was probably alienating. Julia Jackson's family, Stan and no one else. That alone would have been extraordinarily stressful for someone high functioning in my family. I see, from my fathers notes they got into a conflict over the truck and I know my father well. My father is not a good negotiator with Tim and his needs.

Tim needs love, forgiveness and I need to know he is OK. He is never going to forgive himself if he has been "tricked' to work the laws in order to get into the hospital and no one corrects his mindset. 

I want to be able to see him. I do not have the money to fight guardians etc. or remove him from skilled care. I just want to know he is getting the right care.

What can I do?

Moira Vasquez